Laurence Housman's occasional verse

Be quick,
Remove that rick!
Dig me a bed
of honest English ground,
Whereon to rest my head!
Request your undertaker
to lay out half an acre
(The cost a hundred pound) -
Good measure, meted out, and running over,
Into a field of elms, cows, rook, and clover,
Where, fronting south, near by, in pleasant hands,
The little watch-tower of Gazebo stands,
And sees beneath its walls, of close-trimmed fruits,
Roger, the quiet Quaker, on his wheel
Steering a even keel,
Off to his daily work of making boots.

On that selected spot,
To meet my need, -
'Signed, sealed,
Delivered, by your act and deed,' -
Plan me a house with four walls, and a door
Electric light laid on; and window panes
Decently small; a W.C. and drains
Decently large, arranged at such a slope
That when one moves, one does so with the hope
That they will not behave like wicket-keeps,
Whose sense of fun
Is to stop everything that bounds or creeps,
Lobs, twists, or breaks: rather like batsmen bold
Let them take hold
Of everything that comes, and score a run!

Design my house -
(Modest are my desires)
With one good living room
Such as a mouse
Blest with one mate requires;
12 by 16 at least;
A second where one can feast;
And cook as well
(As well as one is able)
And seat four guests at table:
In addition
A good-sized scullery, with etceteras,
Would be regarded as an acquisition
And much approved.
And when we've moved
And lived there for a while, -
Three years or four -
We'd like (when fortune's smile
Has come to better us)
To add to it two rooms more,
Floor above floor,
An upstair, and a down,
But, for the present, (not living in a town)
Three bedrooms and a bathroom will suffice.
But oh, do make it nice!
And make the outlook pleasant -
South, or south by east,
And when you've done it all
Quite to our satisfaction, -
Putting in action
Your architects, plummers, builders, and the like;
And when they've ceased;
And when I am installed there with my bike,
And little sisters
(Sister, to be correct) - Then, one and all,
Oh, Clarks and Clothiers, Misses and Misters,
Big, little, old and young, we shall expect
That you will come and call
Upon the Bard
Leaving your card,
Or hanging all your hats up in the hall.
LH

A Linked Limerick


There was an old man whom the weather
Had brought to the end of his tether:
	Said he 'I will go
	To where (whether or no)
We can all live in comfort together.

On starting his journey to Heaven,
He was well over eighty and seven;
	And somewhat half-hearted,
	Thought he, as he started,
I'd better go northward of Devon.

For though it's from Somerset, Street,
That I now am directing my feet,
	If I do get to Heaven
	By going through Devon,
There's some there I don't want to meet.

And (as Roger so wisely remarks,
When he strikes his oracular sparks)
	If I pluck up my roots
	It might pull off my boots -
Which I get, at a discount, from Clark's.

And out of this world and its mire
To arrive like a bare-footed friar,
	With corns and with blisters,
	Dear brothers and sisters! -
Is not what I greatly desire.

And so, having Clark's to assist me - 
Though Devonshire's breed may resist me -
	I shall hope to meet dozens -
	Aunts, uncles, and cousins -
All saying how much they have missed me.

And now for the last of my wishes: -
Having shared in the loaves and the fishes,
	To live safely and soberly
	In Burleigh Lane, Overleigh,
Well quit of the World and its riches.